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  • Writer's pictureTiffany Wright

Sexual Compromise

Hey Guys and Dolls, I hope you’re having a great Saturday. How many of you aren’t getting the sex you want? How many of you aren’t asking for the sex you want? Well hell there’s your problem. Why the hell not? Don’t you think you deserve it? Aren’t you worth it? Then ask!

Everything is negotiable

Read it again. It reads everything is negotiable. It doesn’t say you’ll always get what you want. I’m saying ask for what you want. If the answer is no then begin negotiations. The only reason I say you won’t always get what you want is because sometimes the price is too high. Sometimes YOU aren’t willing to give to get the thing you want. Doesn’t mean don’t ask. You definitely won't get it if you don't ask; that you can guarantee. Now how you ask depends on you. Some times it is a bit more difficult to ask for what you feel is a sexual favor. There is this weird taboo surrounding sex like it is foreign or something. Like people aren't having it or something. I have an idea or two on how to get my Guys and Dolls the sex that you deserve.

A few suggestions.

  • Direct approach - just flat out ask; no beating around the bush.

  • Indirect approach - subtle suggestions about the topic and feel the person out.

  • Quid pro quo - would you be willing to do this if I were willing to do that thing you asked for?

You have to decide your approach and what type of person you are dealing with in order to get what you want. I realize what works for one person won't work for another. Also be prepared for some suggestions or request in return. Surprisingly your partner may have been wanting to have this discussion and just didn't know how to bring it up. Maybe your partner has a few "asks" as well!

Always pay a complete by expressing what your partner does well before making a suggestion or asking for something you desire.

We all hate to feel incompetent or like we can't do anything right; the same goes for in the bedroom. Anytime you are going to suggest a way of being better aroused or sexually pleased you must express the good as well. I know me personally, I'd like to hear about what I did right. I want to hear about what you enjoyed before you make any suggestions as to how I can improve. I also don't suggest you list your suggestions as it makes it seem like you are overwhelmingly dissatisfied. That is the last thing you want to do; no man or woman's ego can handle a list of imperfections!


I hate when people use the word favor. It's not a favor. I am asking my partner to give me something that will please me. The same as asking them to rub lotion on my back or allow me to park closest to the house to avoid being rained on. Your partner will do the thing you desire because they want to make you happy and are eager to be the reason you are happy. Period. There should be no guilt for asking for what you want. If you feel guilty then you have to ask yourself why? Would you not at least try to please your partner if asked? Then why feel guilty?

I hope this is helpful. I know it can be difficult to be in a committed relationship and not get what you need. You are committed to the relationship and sexual needs should be viewed like any other relationship discussion. Bills are negotiated; who will pay what and how they will be paid. Where you buy a home is negotiated and discussed. Sexual matters are also apart of any relationship and should be discussed and negotiated as well. It's as simple as that!

I just wanted to say welcome to TJCO blog and I hope you’re enjoying the information I’m putting out. This is a fairly new site and I am learning as I go. Please visit me here from time to time to see what’s new.

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