Mind Ya Business.......Mondays
Hello all my Guys and Dolls, this week’s Mind ya business topic is relationship boundaries. We all have a friend or two who is in a "relationship" that seems like one of the parties isn't aware of the actual relationship. Where is the line of how involved you should be when you witness the other party living their best life without your friend.
I'm the worst friend! Yes, I am and judge me all you want. I can admit that I can literally see your guy or doll out lip locked with someone else and say nothing. I will actually do everything possible not to make eye contact or have any interaction with the cheating party. I want nothing to do with the entire situation. I will leave the scene like a thief in midst of a heist and the alarm has gone off. The swiftness in which I will disappear is almost comical. If the space is large enough I will relocate to another area but if not I'm out! That space is no longer big enough for the two of us; well three!
Allow me to explain myself!
The truth is I never want to be the reason for anyone breaking up. I may not be the actual reason if I confront either party but I am ultimately the reason the cat got out of the bag. If the cheater sees me then they feel like they have to make a decision. They feel like they are caught and in being caught must doing or say something. I personally just don't want to play any part in the decision making process for either person.
If I tell my friend then I am the person that broke their heart. Before I opened my big mouth they were blissfully ignorant therefore happy in that relationship. My bringing the darkness to the light makes me the bad guy. I have zero interest in being the bad guy! Plus I'm not in that relationship! That relationship is between those two people and it is up to those two people to be honest and open; it is not my place to force them to be either.
I think we get caught up in defending our friends that we forget that our friend chose that person to be in a relationship with. Regardless of what we think of that person that isn't our relationship therefore makes it none of our business how they move about within it. I'd rather watch my friend be happy. We also assume that people aren't intuitive enough to know when something is off in their relationship. Sometimes by butting in we force our friends to deal with something they really aren't fully ready to deal with. Sometimes they are more aware than we give them credit for; they just haven't mustered up the nerve to approach it head on just yet. So for all you people who can't wait to play super hero; sit down somewhere and mind your business.
Think of your friend, really think of your friend and ask yourself who are you doing it for? You or them!