Married but still looking......
Hey Guys and Dolls, it's Sunday and I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I wanted to speak on a topic that we could really take a bite out of. We don't judge or blame here, we just try to figure out why people do what they do. Most of the time it's pretty simple; pleasure or self gratification.
I think the world is full of selfish people! That isn't necessarily a bad thing; I have learned that sometimes being selfish is a good thing. In fact, sometimes it is down right out necessary to put yourself first. Sometimes we are just too damn polite about things we don't need to be polite about. There are a lot of people in relationships whether they are married or just in a committed relationship who aren't being true to themselves about what it is they need to be happy in said relationship. They aren't willing to discuss and open up about what they want for fear it'll fuck up the whole relationship. What if you could just say you are perfect for me but sometimes I'd like to fuck someone new!
The truth is what you started out needing changes over time. What you thought was important isn't anymore. The idea of being in a relationship forever is great as long as both parties realize the changes and compromises that may be necessary to sustain forever. The older people get they may be more serious about finances and less serious about their sex life. One party may be okay with that but in most cases we don't all grow and evolve at the same pace. I think the reason most people cheat after a long time in relationships isn't because they are growing apart but they are evolving at a difference pace. I may still need all those wild and sexy nights even if my partner doesn't. After a while my need for self gratification and pleasure could lead me to have a wandering eye. That doesn't make me a bad person; selfish maybe but a bad person, nah!
I think most of the time people assume that partners cheat or seek sex elsewhere for some deep rooted reason when sometimes it's really just about the sex!
A true life partner, married or otherwise, is someone you can talk to and come to a compromise with. Someone who won't judge you and is open and honest enough to understand that we are all human and have different needs. We have to be realistic that we cannot always meet all of our partner's needs all the time. A discussion should always take place and compromise should be a critical tool in any relationship working to go the distance. And if forever is what you are in search of you better make for damn sure your partner is capable of compromise and realizing that they may not be the answer to every problem for you.
Most of us have friends we can talk to and confide in and that is a relationship outside of our partner that has to be nurtured. Some times it's your buddy that you have a outing with on occasion to do things your partner doesn't enjoy. All of these relationships help keep us grounded and balanced in life. We seek out people to fill needs and sometimes it's a sexual need. I truly think it is that simple.